On this blog we talk about money, family, travel and lifestyle. On that note, I want to touch on a topic that is rather psychological in nature, relating to mental strength and the way I’ve dealt with some of the circumstances throughout my personal and professional life.
We live in an age of shortcuts, one-click solutions, AI-generated answers, and same-day delivery. The world is optimized for ease and efficiency. But when it comes to building a resilient, powerful inner life, shortcuts don’t work. In fact, they get in the way.
True personal growth doesn’t come wrapped in comfort. It comes in a form of pain, in the shadows of uncertainty, and hard work. Together, they form the psychological terrain we must all navigate.
Let’s explore how these three experiences, often avoided at all costs, are actually the key to unlocking your fullest potential.
Pain: The Constant Companion And The Spark That Forces You to Wake Up
Physical and emotional-they are life’s most honest tutor. Pain tells us what matters. It shows us where we’re broken and where we still care. Pain is the wake-up call, the limit, the lesson. It’s the inevitable cost of living fully.
- A child learns not to touch fire after being burned.
- A person grieves deeply only because they have loved deeply.
- The athlete’s body aches as a testament to their discipline and sacrifice.
Pain isn’t a sign that something’s gone wrong; it’s a sign that you’re alive, engaged, and vulnerable. It’s not to be avoided at all costs. It’s to be respected, explored, and sometimes leaned into.
Pain hurts. But it also wakes us up.
When we experience emotional or physical pain, it breaks the illusion that everything is fine and it demands attention. Pain demands presence. And presence is the first step toward healing and clarity.
When I severed my achilles tendon, millions of things went through my mind. Things like-my soccer career is over, am I going to be able to ski again, am I going to be able to walk or be active and play sports again? I just went on and on thinking about these things.
I knew my achilles wasn’t going to be the same, I was going to lose my muscle density and strength, but then I saw an opportunity. An opportunity to push through the recovery process and be able to get back on the field as soon as humanly possible….and I said “I’ve got this.”
For me it was all about the perspective. I was able to take things that were changing around me and use them to my benefit and show others how to embrace life’s surprising, and often painful, changes.
Uncertainty: The Default State of Reality
We plan, predict and prepare. But the truth is, we never really know what’s coming next. Life doesn’t come with a roadmap and that terrifies us. But uncertainty is also the birthplace of possibility. It’s what allows for freedom, creativity, and growth.
- The artist begins with a blank canvas, unsure of what will emerge.
- The entrepreneur starts a business with no guarantee of success.
- The person falling in love must risk rejection or heartbreak.
To live fully is to stand on the edge of the unknown and choose to step forward anyway. Uncertainty is the price of potential. When you face it head-on, it becomes a kind of ally.
Most people are not comfortable not knowing what comes next. But if you think about it, every reinvention story starts with a question mark, not a period. Uncertainty is uncomfortable, but it is also fertile. When you don’t know what’s next, anything is possible.
My take on this is attitude precedes everything. I have decided to be the kind of person who brings enthusiasm and energy into every room I enter. Period.
Attitude affects how we approach uncertainty in our relationships, our jobs, and in our day to day interactions. Every response, every action and every reaction is determined by our attitude. Why do I say this, because I believe attitude determines outcomes. It’s all about attitude and it’s that “simple.”
Marty Schottenheimer had two losing seasons under his belt during his twenty one years as a NFL head coach. How did he achieve such an amazing record and reached a legendary status; by simply getting the most out of every player on his team.
His pep talk; I want you to think about winning, I want you to talk about winning and I want you to expect to win.
Don’t wait for perfect timing. Don’t pause until the path is paved. Step forward anyway. Because those who thrive in life aren’t the ones who had it all figured out; they’re the ones who kept walking through the fog. I came to America by myself, when I was 17 years old, 17….do you think I had things figured out at 17 years of age. Exactly!
Reality doesn’t guarantee comfort, but it offers something better: growth. And if you’re mentally strong, you already know the truth; the unknown isn’t your enemy. It’s your edge.
Hard Work: The Only Way Through And The Path with No Shortcuts
Work is how we respond to pain and uncertainty. It’s not just employment; it’s effort, engagement, and intention. It’s doing the thing even when it’s hard, even when it hurts, even when the outcome isn’t clear.
- The addict in recovery shows up to the meeting every day, knowing each day is a battle.
- The single parent juggles jobs and responsibilities, exhausted but driven by love.
- The writer sits down to a blank page, facing doubt and silence, and writes anyway.
This one sounds obvious, but in today’s society, it bears repeating: Hard work builds more than results. It builds character. Hard work is rarely sexy. But it transforms you from the inside out.
If you can’t imagine it, you can’t achieve it.
I set SMART goals in my personal and professional life but I don’t only set goals that excite me, I set goals that scare me as well. The SMART acronym has worked well for me and here is a random example of how I use it.
S – Specific: Clearly define what you want to accomplish
Example: “I want to improve my fitness” becomes “I want to run 3 miles without stopping.”
M – Measurable: Make sure you can track your progress and know when you’ve reached the goal
Example: “Run 3 miles in under 30 minutes.”
A – Achievable: Set a goal that is realistic and attainable, considering your current resources and constraints
Example: “Run 3 miles” is more achievable than “Run a marathon next week” if you’re just starting out
R – Relevant: Ensure the goal aligns with your broader values or long-term objectives
Example: “Running 3 miles” is relevant if you’re aiming for better health or training for an event.
T – Time-bound: Set a deadline or timeline to create urgency and help you stay on track
Example: “I will run 3 miles without stopping within the next 4 weeks.”
Motivation is another ingredient that compels me to work hard. Because becoming a better version of myself is not easy task. It takes months, years, or sometimes a lifetime to get to where I ultimately want to be. Remember my achilles story, well….I needed a little motivation (e.g. not some day but today) to push through physical therapy and get in a ski boots 5 months post surgery to start teaching at Park City Ski and Snowboard School.
The bottom line; if you want to get me motivated, tell me I can’t do something. I truly strive to be a champion every day and take pride in any type of work I do. Why; because my work is my masterpiece, my craftsmanship; it represents me, my family and my origins through my actions.
Take the story of J.K. Rowling. Before “Harry Potter” became a worldwide phenomenon, she was a single mother living on welfare, battling depression, and receiving countless rejection letters. But she kept writing. She kept believing. Her story reminds us that it’s not the glamorous moments that define success, but the grit to persist when the world says, “No.”
Or consider Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Before the fame and fortune, he was broke, living in a small apartment, his football dreams shattered. Instead of giving in to defeat, he pivoted, worked harder than ever, and built a career that transcended industries. Every weight he lifted, every script he memorized, every day he showed up when it would have been easier to quit; that’s hard work in action.
Remember: shortcuts may promise speed, but they rob you of the very thing that makes achievement meaningful. The path of hard work doesn’t guarantee immediate success, but it promises growth, mastery, and fulfillment.
Final Thought: The Gateway Is Hard, But It Leads Somewhere Beautiful
Pain breaks you open. Uncertainty stretches your imagination. Hard work chisels your soul. Together, they shape a version of you that’s stronger, deeper, and more alive. When life throws you pain, uncertainty, and hard work, don’t ask “Why me? instead say “Why not!”
Being mentally strong isn’t about having all the answers. It’s about showing up with courage when answers are nowhere to be found. It’s about making moves while others hesitate, and trusting your ability to adapt no matter what comes next.
